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Choke's 2014 WWE Royal Rumble Predictions and Preview

Posted by: choke Jan 26, 2014 | 884 views | 8 comments

It's here.   My, and probably your, favorite Pay Per View of the year.   2 things hold me back from being OVERLY excited this time around:  I'm still recovering from the flu, and secondly, as has been the last few years, the WWE has done an awful, awful job of hyping it up.    I mean going into tonight, the only 2 "exciting" announcements for the Rumble are that Punk is #1 and that Batista is making his "return" to the ring.   That's it.   Now I love mystery when it comes time for the Rumble match itself but they could have at least built a decent card around it.  Instead we get..... this lineup:

Cody Rhodes and Golddust vs New Age Outlaws for the WWE Tag Titles (pre-show):    I've see some predictions for the NAO to win the straps.   I can see some argument for it:   Cody and Dust have had a nice long run and there's always the tease for them to split up and wrestle each other.   NAO winning would add some needed gold to the HHH/McMahon regime.   Lastly, the hottest tag team in the WWE, the Usos, wouldnt quite make sense against Cody and Golddust as far as a classic heel/face matchup.   Now personally I think who gives a shit, put the two face teams against each other, but probably won't happen.   So, all that being said, do I think the NAO will get the belts tonight?    No.   While I've been calling for the Rhodes Bros to lose the belts the last few times they've defended them, I find it hard to believe the WWE would have them FINALLY lose them on a pre-show.   But they could be trying to make the pre-shows more important.   I still like the Rhodes to retain in the end

Daniel Bryan vs Bray Wyatt:   What a mess the WWE has made of the Wyatt clan.  I really thought Bryan was going to help Harper and Rowan win the tags or at least set up a tag title match with the Rhodes Bros for the Rumble where they would win, then utilize the clan to help him win the Rumble (turning on them as the final act), and setting up what everyone seemingly wants to see, Bryan with the WWE Title shot at Mania.   And even THAT was too rushed of a storyline to my liking, though still a million times better than what they're giving us.   This match is actually very tough to predict for me.   On the one hand, it's so hard to see Bryan losing this because can the WWE really not be seeing that he's damn near the top draw they have right now?    On the other hand, Wyatt has been made to look so damn weak that it'd be insane to have him lose this as well.   I think you have to have Wyatt go over here, but with the help of someone which will ultimately lead to Bryan's Mania match.   Sheamus with a scruffy Wyatt beard?  Sheamus without a scruffy Wyatt Beard?   Taker?   STING?   I have no idea what I'm talking about.   BRING BACK THE CORPORATE MINISTRY

Big Show vs Brock Lesnar:   Come on.   Lesnar has to take this

John Cena vs Randy Orton for the WWE Title:  It's hard to imagine Orton losing the title at this spot, especially with all the rumors of a possible Hogan vs Cena match at Mania (which really, really shouldnt be for the title).   But, you can't ever forget that it IS John Cena we're talking about, and there are a lot of matches that would make sense for him at Mania especially if they decide not to do the Hogan thing or realize that Hogan probably can't even make it down the entrance ramp let alone work a match right now.    I still gotta go Orton here.

I'll quickly add that I think there will be some extra matches:    AJ will beat Naomi to retain the Divas belt, and Bad News Barrett will beat Miz (they might also just have Barrett come out and yell at the wrestlers for a bit instead of a match).

The Rumble:   Alright so 19 of the 30 are known (Barrett was pulled?, hence why I think he'll have a match).   And of those 19, only the following have a greater than 1% chance to win:   Batista, CM Punk, Roman Reigns.    That's it.   Of course the hope is of the remaining 11 that some returning faces or some wrestling previously and/or unannounced for the match will be there and have a chance.   Some of those who would have an impact would be Sheamus, Jericho, Mark Henry, Christian, RVD,  Undertaker (doubtful), Sting (very doubtful), and AJ Styles (VERY doubtful), and David Hart Smith 

I think Reigns will pick up the most eliminations.  I think Kane himself enters the Rumble and ends up costing Punk the match, setting up for Punk to beat him in February and set up Punk/HHH for Mania.   I like Jericho and maybe Christian as surprise entrants and for them to do well but not make it to the end.  Final 4 I'll say Batista, Reigns, Del Rio, and Big E Langston (even though I myself find that very underwhelming).   Batista takes out Del Rio, Reigns takes out Langston.    Your winner of the Royal Rumble:    Batista   

It's a very obvious result considering the confrontation Monday, but if I'm going with an Orton retain, it's the logical storyline unless Bryan enters (but again, I kinda think they set up Sheamus vs Bryan as a resul of the Wyatt match and therefore he wont even be in the Rumble).     I really really hope I'm wrong, but the WWE has gone with the most obvious so much in recent history that I have to

BONUS MANIA CARD PREDICTION

So my prediction for the Mania Card so far (SPOILER ALERT:   I've read some stories of "leaked" Mania cards, and use some of that info below.   I personally have doubts on their legitimacy, and several I read conflict with each other)

John Cena vs Hulk Hogan (I've seen the rumors on Cena vs Wyatt, and like the idea of Wyatt maybe attacking Cena on Raw tomorrow.  It does seem weird to hve Cena in such a mid-level match though at Mania, so I'm doubtful)
CM Punk vs HHH
Brock Lesnar vs Undertaker
Randy Orton vs Batista for the WWE Title
Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus
Big E Langston vs Seth Rollins for the IC Title
The Usos vs Harper and Rowan for the Tag Titles (pre-show)
the Divas in a lip synching contest with Flo-Rida (or AJ Lee vs Brie Bella for the Divas belt)
Roman Reigns vs the Big Show

I'm sure I'm leaving out some who will have matches (Ambrose?  Jericho?   Hell that would be a good match).   This just shows how much talent the WWE has and why its such a shame they dont put it to better use.   

PS.   Ryback vs Ultimate Warrior kinda makes sense in line with how Ryback has acted lately.   Still almost sounds too crazy to be true.

 

 

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